So, right now we are trying to be VERY consistent. I feel like I do pretty good in that department as a rule, but I'm trying very hard right now. IT'S EXHAUSTING! When he finally goes to bed, I feel worn out. I never give in to the BIG stuff, if I tell him no, I mean no...but I'm also trying to watch the little things I say and really mean them.
Discipline is not something we have just started. I have always told my kids no and expected them to obey what I say. When I tell them to do something, they have to say, "Yes, mom." and I also want them to say that to other adults....with their name of course. I feel like this is something I have done wrong...like you see on the super nanny. Parents that didn't realize a problem until their child is 8 and punching out walls. Please don't let that be me!
To put it mildly, he is on lock down. No carnival. No friends over. Not until we can trust him more. I hope he sees I mean business, when I drive off on Saturday to the carnival with Emma and leave him at home. He asks me everyday like I'm going to change my mind. No way!
Another tough problem, is handing out discipline but not crushing him. Even though he's in trouble, I still want him to feel loved and happy. I mean not happy on the way to the office, but not depressed deep down inside.
Right now, we are walking a very fine line and we need prayers.
Thanks.
10 comments:
been thinking lots about you...know this is heavy on your mind. hang tough--you're a good mommy and you'll get it to work.
You have also been in my thoughts...we did not talk about it last night, but I look up to you as I see how you handle your kids and what I can do with my kids...I think we all do this....you are doing fine and you are in my prayers!
I'm scared if your kids are misbehaving what hope is there for the rest of us. Your kids are always so good. And have I mentioned how glad I am that your kids are older so I can learn from your experiences. Your always my mommy sounding board for sickness mile stones, discipline. Thank you for that by the way. I will be praying for you and for Colby. I'm sure it's just a phase. Colby is a good kid who knows right from wrong. I'm sure he'll be on the right path again soon.
i have been thinking about you a lot too. i talked to jared about it last night to see if he had any ideas, he didn't. i am glad you are being consistent though. i know it is making it hard on you guys as a family too. you can't do something or vance can't b/c you are being consistent. it will be worth it in the end! hang in there and we will have fun on sat! call if you need me:)
Hang in there. The consistency is hard but worth it in the end. We are trying a responsibilty board with our boys. I'll let you know if it works. Praying for you.
Laurie
Consistency is hard in any aspect of life and I am sure it is especially hard with your children. I am dealing with it now, but it is a lot easier when they are Adi's age. I hope that everything works out. I'll put you on my mental prayer list.
I am happy to pray for you. Parenting Grace. Whew! None of us is immune to the need of it. Your attentiveness to your son is great. Probably a sign that you won't be on the Nanny (since you aren't attending to his every whim). :)
Just a note: I have a daughter who had similar reactions to discipline. Lockdown did help, and so did fines.
As you know, I understand. I know I've said it before but I really believe that somewhere in heaven Shelby and Colby were cut from the same cloth!!! I know first hand how exhausting it is but trust me, it will get better and Colby will thank you for it in the long run and he won't be devistated to the point his heart is in shambles for life. (If it would help, you could talk to Shelby and see what her feelings are on this from a child whose been there and still is at times...) As you probably already do, just keep remind him that you do love him but not his choice of behaviors. When you leave with Emma Saturday, hug him, tell him you love him and you hope next time he will make better choices, and drive off...plain and simple. It will hurt your heart, mommy, but drive away and make sure whoever keeps Colby doesn't coddle him too much and reminds him why he didn't get to go. That way it won't be so soothing for him. Let me know how things work out. If you would like to talk to Shelby about her feelings on having a mommy that diciplines her, let me know that, too. Thinking about you sooooooo much, Love ya, Kristina
Amen! Being consistent is no fun, but the payoff is wonderful. Keep it up, you're doing great! That character training is the hardest part--I'd rather teach a one year old to come to me any day of the week! :)
I have an awesome book I love, called Instruction in Righteousness, that uses the Bible for help in training children. When you identify an issue, such as lying for example, you go to that section and it has verses and how they can be applied to discipline. My copy is going to be worn out before we're through, I'm sure! :)
I think this is likely where we are heading with Carson as well. I will be watching this to see how it works out for you. For now, we've given him some time to get it together before going in to full lock down. He is this >< close to having his desk moved against the wall with his back to the rest of the class. It will crush him, but I have no idea how else to get it through his head that he has to stop talking in class.
Good luck. Your in my thoughts.
Laci
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